STUART ' CAFU ' CLARK

           CENTRE 'AAAAALF

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VITAL STATISTICS

Date of birth    31st August 1985

Height            5'10

Weight            Heavy

Boot size         11      

 

OUT OF 10

Pace        7         Skill        5

Heading   8         Passing   6

Tackle     8         Attitude   9

Drinking potential             10

 

PERSONAL



Marital status—                    gagging

Job description—                  builder ...ish

Favourite football team—    man. utd

Favourite player—         Alex Davis    

Other sport/s—       skittles and bad snooker

Favourite film—       300         

Favourite music—               barry white

Favourite book—                can’t read

Favourite animal—             duck

Favourite drink—            any lager

Favourite lady(not wife/girlfriend) - Hetties mum !

Favourite smoking position— was leaning against bar in sway club but the b******s stopped us doing that !

Dream Holiday— Butlins in Minehead drinking my favourite tipple -  4 pint jugs of Kronenburg and listening to The four tops appreciation band ……...aaaaaah !!!!!